A few months ago I had an incredible dream. I was in the hospital and had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. I remember going home, but for the life of me hadn't a clue where Steven was. Family and friends had come over to see the baby and one of the big questions they asked was, "What's her name?" I remember feeling so nervous at first because I wanted to name her, but without Steven there, I was scared. What if the name I give her was something he wouldn't like. Yet I couldn't post pone her name much longer. It already had been a week in the dream. So the name that came to mind was Olyvia IvyAnn Kopsa. At least three different times I called her by her full name. Looking at her, she was Olyvia! When I woke, the name was so crystal clear in my mind that I'm certain that's what Steven and I will be calling our daughter.
Last night Olyvia visited again. Kind of a similar set up where I was in the hospital, just had her, but this time when I saw her, my mind lit up thinking, "That's Olyvia!" I quickly stated what her name was suppose to be. My mother was there once more and Steven, again, wasn't anywhere to be seen. Olyvia eventually wasn't the focus of the dream but rather the realization that I had her in November. As my mind became obsessed with this notion that I had a baby in November, when a few month prior I certainly wasn't pregnant, many questions came to mind. How could that have happened? I mean, I didn't know I was pregnant! Let alone back in June (I believe shortly after the first Olyvia dream) I had taken a pregnancy test. It came back negative. So I took a pregnancy test in the dream, considering I just had the baby and therefore should have those hormones still, and sure enough it came back positive, magically confirming that the first test I took was faulty.
Of course the confusion ensued as I thought about my monthly and excessive cycles (sorry for tmi) as well as my weight loss. For a moment I got excited about the weight loss knowing that I just lost about another 10 pounds with the birth of Olyvia. Still, I was swimming in a sea of confusion about how I was able to have my little girl when everything pointed to it not being possible. At the same time, I was grateful that it finally had happened! I finally had my Olyvia!
When I woke up, it was a bit hazy as I realized I was in bed next to Steven. Then in one fell swoop it hit me that it was another dream. Part of me wants to get mad that I have these tormenting dreams, but part of me is excited for I feel I have another clue. I'm certain Steven and I will be having a little girl, her name will be Olyvia IvyAnn Kopsa, and that it'll happen in November. Whether that's the due date or that's when we find out we're expecting, November must signify something of importance.
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